Ask around in your online or offline community and chances are you know someone who started their business to be at home with their kids. Some of them may have even started their business while on maternity leave only to be told that they were ‘stark raving mad’. We all know how hard it is to start a new business, to write that business plan, to pay for our licences and to find that first client. But how many of us truly understand how having children and working from home will affect our businesses to the extent that it does?
I started my business 34 weeks pregnant with my third child while building our new home and studying at university for a degree in education full time. My boys were 6 and 3 and I’d been having a difficult pregnancy. And yes, I was told that I was stark raving mad to even think about a business. My husband was extremely supportive but most of my extended family was very negative and frowned upon working when raising a family. All I knew was that my studies were less and less fulfilling as time went by. All I knew was that to be a great mum, I needed something besides child rearing. All I knew was that I wanted something more.
I applied for a job 33 weeks pregnant, started the following week working from home as a subcontractor and that’s when my entrepreneurial spirit showed itself. I stumbled upon the term Virtual Assistant and my head just about exploded with the information that was so readily available. But nothing really prepared me for working from home with small children.
Yes there were the articles about how to manage one’s time, how to work alongside your child and how to set up a play office so they could play and be with you. But nothing prepared me for what ultimately happened. I gave birth to a beautiful girl who was very sick. Instead of taking a few days off (pfft, what do people know, I can ‘pop’ out this baby and be back at the computer in no time) we had a short stay in the NICU and didn’t leave hospital for two weeks. I had systems in place, my mum became my assistant and looked after my one and only client but even then, I wasn’t prepared.
No one tells you about breastfeeding while typing one handed and talking with a client on Skype. No one tells you about how segmented your day will become. No one tells you that you’re supposed to sleep at night. And there’s no one to keep a close eye on you for post-natal depression (post partum).
The first thing you’ll need to discover is what type of schedule works best for you and then to not feel guilty about it. If you’re a morning person that’s great and if you’re a night person, that’s great too. Figure out what part of the day you are the most productive, map it against your family’s needs and try to stick to it.
The next thing is to understand that it’s ok to have nanna naps, even if there are no kids at home. If you need 10 minutes or 30 minutes to recharge, do it! It’s part and parcel of taking care of yourself so you don’t fall apart. I personally am a night person but my husband is a morning person so he gets up to the kids in the morning, feeds them, dresses them all before leaving to go to work. But I’m the one who gets up to the kids in the middle of the night and puts miss M back to bed 4 times between 1am and 4am.
Set up a default schedule where you block in everyone’s commitments including your own. Colour-code the schedule for each person in the family. One thing I have noticed with two children in school now is how busy we are. They don’t do a lot of after school activities but remembering which child has library day and which child has ICT (information communication technology – fancy pants term for information technology) is a lot easier now with the family schedule on the wall.
Create a support circle of business mums. They don’t necessarily have to be in the same industry as you or even have children the same age as yours, you just need to surround yourself with people who understand what it is like to be a mum in business for herself. Family members won’t understand and your partner may not understand. You’ll receive all sorts of advice from all corners and I promise it will all conflict with what you are trying to do. Having your circle of cheerleaders’ means you have people to share your highs and lows with.
Try to understand that running a business with a newborn is vastly different to running a business with a 9 year old or even a 19 year old. Your child has needs, wants and desires that changes, as they get older. My billing record is at an all time high that dates back to when miss M was less than 6 months old. Why? She slept a lot so I was able to put in the extra time. I was also post-natal at the time. Recognise what your family needs from you and be prepared as best you can for when it changes.
Each child is different. What works for me won’t work for you. I don’t have a play area in my office because I can’t handle the mess. I need a clear and tidy workspace to be able to work and kids are made to be messy. So we have a separate playroom for them to be messy to their heart’s content. All three of my kids are pretty independent and so I can snatch 10 or 20 minutes to make a phone call. But there are days when I can’t do that, so I don’t. We go outside instead. Listen to your kids and you’ll soon figure out what you need to do.
Trust in yourself. We all do a great job with our kids AND our businesses. While owning a thriving business and raising children is no easy thing to do, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Don’t think that one size fits all. Find the solutions that suit you and your family and you’ll notice the difference it makes to your business immediately. Your children are only young once so make the most of it.
About Kylie Short:
Kylie Short, owner of Tilda Virtual Services specialises in providing Internet Marketing Support, Administrative Support, Hosting and Website Design to coaches, consultants and small business owners working from home. Visit her website at http://www.tildavirtual.com.au
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Kylie!
I set up my VA business a few months ago and have a 22 month old son. I’ve been struggling to plan out my work day, whilst still leaving time for everything else that I need to do and was really wondering how other mums in my situation cope and survive!
I’ve become very handy at typing with my toddler sitting on my knee and talking on the phone whilst drawing with him – not exactly ideal, but hey – whatever works!
Thank you for the insight into how you manage, it’s made me feel a lot better
Regards,
Melissa
Hi Kylie
I whole heartedly agree that all the planning in the world to start a business working from home with kids, will not prepare you for your day or the needs of the business and the kids.
Almost monthly I have to re-organise or structure my week due to the needs of the kids and their growing needs for school, after school activities and just attention from me.
Caz
@Melissa – I think that is the key, to let other mums know that each of our experiences will be different and that all we need is to be confident in ourselves and our choices.
@Caroline – I definitely underestimated what it would be like but I’d still not change a thing
Thanks for this Kylie, very inspirational. I have a young daughter who is 8 months old, and I started the business full time when she was only 4 months old…it’s hard but so worth it. I am loving your blog – wish I’d come across it earlier!